The 2020 [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Draft Grades

Good morning, and thank you for coming to my event. A group of college friends got together and decided to do a Dynasty Fantasy Football League that will last longer than their friendships. All names shall remain anonymous, but likely those few, few people who read this will be able to figure out who is who after looking at retweets, comments, likes (please retweet I love attention).

This is an unbiased draft grade for a 12 team Dynasty Fantasy Football League, that’s name is currently like the horse in the 1970s rock band America’s most famous hit.

A quick breakdown of the league format: 12 teams, snake draft, 25 man roster for year 1, which breaks down as follows: 11 starters (QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, TE, RB/WR, WR/TE, RB/WR/TE, K (no defense)), 9 bench, 5 taxi (5 players that are rookies, 2^nd year, or third year (for year one only)). Year 2 is a rookie and free agent draft, teams expand to 30, which adds 5 more bench players, taxi is now reduced to only rookies and second year players. Draft is done like the NFL draft, worst team first champion last (with exception of compensatory picks which is a cliff hanger for you to read the Playoff Preview near the end of the season). Traditional ½ PPR scoring with a few additions, those are: 0.1 point per completion, 1 point for 20 yards passing, 6 points passing TD. The scoring is maybe a touch QB focused, and I’m not saying that to justify anyone’s pick. Also, players are your team for as long as you keep them, only cutting a player will remove them from your roster, I know what it feels like to be cut, not great but sometimes necessary.

The picks this year were done at random by an internet video conference call (not sponsored so no credit) by Mush (Commissioner is Mush) supported by myself, JonnyDIII, I’m JonnyDIII, and Pistol. A random wheel generator was used and the picks in order were as follows:

1. CrossFit
2. Touchdown Guy
3. Batman
4. Bruce
5. JonnyDIII
6. Bottom Bunk
7. Pistol
8. Daddy Wombat (co-owners)
9. Mush
10. Trashman
11. PeePaw
12. Teach

Now that you know the names and the rules, here is the draft in its entirety.

CrossFit

With the first pick of the 2020 [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Draft, CrossFit used proper form in selecting Dairy Sanders, CMC, the Carolina Panthers for the 2020 season. Great first pick, but does it get better? You would think a guy who does a lot of dynasty drafts in a popular basketball video game (no sponsor no credit), you would know to draft younger guys and not Brady, Eifert, Thomas, AP, and Burkhead. Clearing the cap isn’t a thing here, the free agent pool is not as strong in fantasy. These picks filled out his team, so it’s not terrible, but most would use backups for young talent that may turn into something rather than someone who will be or already has turned in their pads for the last time. Maybe, just maybe, Mush had to edit the rules to allow third year players on the Taxi for some owners. Not saying names. CrossFit is hoping his team will workout so he can post about it on insta later.

Grade: B

Touchdown Guy

With the second pick, Quads, safe reliable Saquon Barkley. Another can’t miss pick. If it never works out, it’s what every big board said to do. Touchdown Guy scored in the 6^th when Calvin Ridley finally came off the board. He was a guy that people were just letting drop for no reason. Grabbing a guy two rounds later than projection is always good. Just like in golf you can screw up a time or two, but you hate to do it on 18. Touchdown Guy grabs Taysom Hill as his backup QB? Athlete? Who knows, who cares, the 18^th round did not have much to show on this draft board. Grabbing K.J. Hill for his taxi could pay off down the road, as he is the all-time receptions leader for Ohio State, that must mean something. It’ll be interesting to see if Touchdown Guy can go for 6 and (qb) sneak into the playoffs.

Grade: B

Batman

When you are successful, good looking, and incredibly wealthy, you deserve the best. And with the third pick Batman did just that by grabbing the reigning MVP, current video game cover athlete (not sponsored), first QB off the board, Lamar Jackson. Batman is hoping that night in and night out Lamar can fight off the competition and stay on track for the MVP conversation. In the 14^th round Batman reached to his utility belt and realized he needed a kicker, taking Harrison Butker 32 picks before the next kicker taken. But Batman rose from the darkness to draft Bryce Love in the 18^th round as the perfect future sidekick. Then the 20^th round became a riddle as he drafts known free agent Davonta Freeman who’s colder than Mr. Freeze.

Grade: B

Bruce

Pre-draft, Bruce wanted Mahomes, who was available on draft night, but then decides on Ezekiel Elliot. This caused other owners to take notice and no longer trust Bruce because he knew that Zeke was going at five and took him instead of being a man of his word, or so I’m told. Bruce loved picking players who are on bad teams. Rounds 4 through 7 Bruce doubled down on Bengals and Jaguars players. It will be interesting to see if Bruce does as poorly as the teams his players play for. For what his team lacks, his receiving core at least provides balance, a healthy dose of veterans who will get thrown at should at least send Bruce upstream. Other teams in this league smell blood in the water, and have their matchup with Bruce as a win, or so I’m told.

Grade: B –

JonnyDIII

Chef’s Kiss. Unbiased opinion JonnyDIII’s entire draft, mwah. In a QB favored league, the best QB is available in an offense that loves to chuck the pigskin. An absolute steal, Patrick Mahomes at 5. Dipping his net into the vast ocean of second year guys while others pay a premium for rookies or vets, just crafty, and may I say sexy picks left and right. First owner to go without a kicker to see who is where on depth charts, just big brain moves only. Two other owners copy this strategy (even if one had it planned already). Other steals include but not limited to: the whole team. Only pick that was controversial would be N’Keal Harry where he was taken, maybe a touch early, but could be the Pats new #1 for years to come.

Grade: A – (no one’s perfect, except you babe)

Bottom Bunk

This could be the biggest first round/first year flop, Dalvin Cook is expected to holdout. Vikings have a very capable backup, the holdout could last, who knows. Using a 5^th round pick on a veteran wide receiver with injury history and an old QB that was run out of the place he made a name for himself, is an interesting choice. Following that up with a 6^th round pick on a guy that is also injury prone and old for the running back position is also interesting. Maybe, Bottom Bunk has a magic 8 ball that is telling him something about Royce Freeman that none of us know about. Either way, B.B.’s starting lineup will be interesting this year, and years following as his team ages out early. The good news is that Bottom Bunk has locked himself in to a good draft pick for 2021.

Grade: C+

Pistol

Cool, calm, and collected, Pistol took the safety off and pulled the trigger on Michael Thomas the top WR in most big boards. The guy gets it done. Following that up with an aging tight end, shows that Pistol is looking to draw up some wins now. Kyler Murray in the 6^th is a solid pick for years to come. Guys like OBJ and Gronk could put Pistol in the shotgun seat of this year’s championship or could fire blanks. A misfire might be Allen Lazard in in the 11^th with a lot of bigger name receivers going in the 12^th, Pistol still has his sights on the postseason. This is a team to watch and could have major upside this year with a steady hand of picks but still capable to fire from the hip to give you all the thrill you need for a team to watch.

Grade: B+

Daddy Wombat

The war room for these two co-owners will likely result in a documentary, and at times the picks took as long as a documentary. Safe picks to start through round 12 or 13 then the wheels start to fall off. With an absolute lock with Russell Wilson, Daddy Wombat follows with Drew Brees in round 14, when other capable younger QBs are still on the board, and vets like Big Ben go undrafted. A mix of blind dart board tosses filling up the Taxi could pan out, but maybe at too high of a cost. Four tight ends, two being rookies and one Greg Olsen will likely create issues this year and maybe years to come at the position. Maybe they hit it big with their rookie core, but it’s a Year 3-4 hope there. I like this as a mediocre team this year, maybe sneaking into the dance.

Grade: B –

Mush

Now, Mush set this up, Mush is in another Dynasty League. There are 13 owners, 12 of those owners asked themselves, “What is this guy doing?” That means one of two things, pure genius or clueless. Mush has zero Dynasty fantasy playoff wins, but did say this draft was different than his previous. Josh Jacobs great pick, the rest will require a lot of time and a lot of hope. Imagine if half his team doesn’t pan out. Dante Pettis in the 25^th is a steal. Going two for twenty-five reminds us of a mock draft that came out earlier this year. It’s July, so it’s tough to say where the teams will finish at the end of the season, but it’s safe to say that Mush is on the clock. Maybe Mush turned to mush having overthought this whole entire thing and having to deal with all our questions. 

Draft Grade: Pass (I don’t want to be rude and have my trades denied)

Trashman

Doubling down on tight ends by Round 7 and three running backs shows Trashman is a huge Smash Mouth fan. Hoping his lineup is filled with All-Stars, he is ready to compete now and likely for years to come. I don’t know about you, but I’m a Believer with the quality group of young RBs on his team he won’t need to recycle picks on the position for a couple years. His wide receiver core is not flashy, but as long as they don’t take a dump, his heaping pile of fresh RBs should have Trashman Walkin’ on the Sun. If not, Then the Morning Comes on Tuesday and Trashman will have to take a deep look at his team and see if it still brings him joy.

Draft Grade: A –

PeePaw

PeePaw, took last year’s leading rusher, someone that locals (local to us) claim to be a top wide receiver, some young WRs that look to be the #2 or #3 for their team, and the actual starter (as of this post) for the Vikings at RB, all by the 9^th Round. PeePaw is hoping that his friend father time is good to his crop of rookie wide outs. The QB and TE play is questionable, everyone has to prove themselves, but the rest of the team is a nice balance of reliability and hopeful youth. Wildcard, AB in the 24^th is a whatever pick, if he’s not signed and has a return date when the season begins or shortly thereafter, then you just pick up a free agent. I listen to a Browns talk podcast and they love them some Baker. Baker has to be good right? For PeePaw let’s hope Baker blossoms into a wily old vet.

Grade: B +

Teach

When I was a child one of my favorite toys was a Stretch Armstrong figure, he broke because I stretched his arm too far. Stretch Armstrong is Teach, the reach that will break him is Aaron Rodgers in the 7^th. Maybe Teach is hoping in 3 years Rodgers is tearing it up for the Bears like Favre did for the Vikings, but no homer wishes that. Filled with Packers and a former Packer, Teach wants you to look at the feel good picks he made to make up for the picks of not so likable people he chose. No further comment is needed. I do love love his 19^th round pick of Antonio Gandy-Golden, he should see the field soon, but the issue is Washington’s WR core is young already, so he’s not looking to replace someone, he has to beat them out.  Teach sets the curve, just the wrong end of it.

Grade: C+

If you notice, no failing grades, a perfect bell curve. I learned that in school. If you are still reading this, thanks for having me. I love you and yours and hope nothing but a better tomorrow for all. Coming up next will be a recap of roster moves that have happened since the draft and sleeper picks that worked out due to signings or trades or trade demands since the draft. When the football begins, weekly results will follow. A quick weekly preview and spotlight on the (looking for a sponsor to insert name here) game of the week, followed with a recap of each week. I am open to trades and sponsors.

Let’s Go!

JonnyDIII