Good morning everyone, I hope this finds you well. Wow, football is upon us. Your drafts are finishing up, players are being cut and signed, making you question sixth round picks like Ronny J and an eighth round pick in Kenny J. It is tough to be a J right now, but we’re built different, just like the teams at the top of this week’s power rankings.
- Trashman
Trashman had the best draft and now he has one of the top scores heading into Week 1 (not saying the exact number, tune into Wednesdays Week 1 Preview). He does have some questions in his lineup, like who Wentz throws to and if Cam Akers is real. But no one wants to take out the trash so I’m not going to. I’m going to trust the numbers, I’m going to trust Mark Andrews, Aaron Jones, Nick Chubb, Allen Robinson, and Kenny Golladay to all perform well. Entering Week 1 70% of the world is covered by water, Trashman is trying to have the rest be a landfill.
2. Bruce
I know, this surprises me too. I understand that my journalistic integrity is on the line with a take so spicy even a big wave couldn’t cool it down. But the numbers are in and Bruce is actually top shark this week. I do not believe it, but the computer likes Matty Ice, JT, Fournette, Zeke (duh), Jules, Godwin, Chark, and even Emmanuel Sanders. There are a lot of questions, like if JT will get 50% of the touches, let alone week 1 touches, same thought but Fournette, and if the Saints can pass the ball to someone other than Mikey T, but the computers will be in charge one day so I’ll let them have this one.
3. Touchdown Guy
Touchdown Guy is a guy that I am going to look back at his draft and wonder why he wasn’t graded higher. He had the steal of the draft in Calvin Ridley, has Keenan Allen, and A.J. Brown. I will default and say I was looking at longevity as some older players like Le’Veon Bell and Jared Cook are on his team. I think Bell’s week 1 projections are a touch low just do to the volume he will receive this year, but overall this team is hot hot hot.
4. Teach
School is in session and someone is about to learn a lesson. (Teach feel free to use as a slogan) SPOILER…. I’m someone. I gave Teach a bad grade and maybe have him for week 1 (check out this Wednesday’s Week 1 Preview to find out) I think a lot of Teach’s expected points are inflated as the numbers for Rodgers are high considering a shift in the Packers offense and the fact that Minnesota’s defense is good. BUT Teach still has some flexibility on what he wants to do as a starting lineup goes and needs to see if Devante Parker is healthy for kickoff. Teach is looking to earn a gold star and move up the rankings.
5. JonnyDIII Joyful Demons
I have to give credit where credit is due, our commissioner added the razzle to the dazzle of our/his fantasy football league by going with a mascot, he’s Ray J, look for his team name below (way down). My team is the purple demon smiling emoji in your phone. I do not need to explain my team a lot, I need to find a kicker and with the last bit of preseason waiver wire money I have, I’m all in on a certain guy. The most expensive kicker waiver signing in league history. Whether it is the right move or not, I have Corey Davis in my lineup and am going to die on that horse if I have to. The biggest thing for me is a need for Kenny Drake and James Conner to pull through. If those two perform well, it’s over for the rest of the league.
6. Bottom Bunk
Another shocking ranking, but the numbers are doing a lot of the talking. I think Bottom Bunk will be put to bed after this week, but as of now he has no curfew. The computer has Deshaun Watson as QB3 this week, and that’s where my personal rankings put him, but is that too high, are all these QB projections too high? David Johnson, TY, and Mickey P (Michael Pittman) are those all too high? We will have to find out. Bottom Bunk when there are no byes, his lineup is not too shabby, but as the bye weeks come in his lineup will wobble like a top bunk.
7. Pistol
Pistol is looking to shoot up the power rankings. He will likely have to do so through trade or waivers because his team misfired on one position. This position is something he should hold near and dear to him as he made a living tackling and then living with the position (while sometimes tackling), that position is the running back position. His only saving grace is that it’s half ppr and his RBs love to catch the rock. Kareem Hunt and James White will hold their worth, the question is if Jordan Howard will be the Phins lead back. Missing out on RBs may shoot Pistol in the foot for years to come. Luckily, Mikey T, OBJ, Kelce, and the up and coming Sutton should give Pistol the arsenal he needs to win some games.
8. CrossFit
CrossFit is not about to flex his muscles this early in the season. But he has a few lifts that are absolutely mind blowing. Dak, CMC, Ekeler, and Cooper Kupp, are going to lift his team all year. The problem is that while those players do the heavy lifting, his other players will need multiple spotters. Rex Burkhead? Audrey Tate? The bar is not too high there. Free membership the first month to anyone who wants to start on this roster. CrossFit needs his heavy lifters to max out every week. We will see if CrossFit hits his PR and can move up the rankings next week.
9. Daddy Wombat
Daddy Wombat has some veteran guys that could do well. D-Hop, Kamara (is now staying put), Gurley (has a new place), and some rookies that could pan out. It looks like his vets might be under projected, and his younger guys might be over projected. I hope Daddy Wombat likes seesaws because their season is going to be a ride this year. Each player will go up and down, but the ride is the best part. Daddy Wombat really needs Russell Wilson and the Seahawks to go into an air it out offense. If that happens Daddy Wombat will be pushed in the right direction and on the upswing.
10. PeePaw
Week 1 is an uphill battle for PeePaw. The computer does not like Baker, Marlon Mack, and the rookie wide outs. The computer likes Melvin Gordon and Devin Singletary, which is maybe a stretch. PeePaw needs Baker to get out of his slump, needs his rookies to see some targets, and needs D-Train to have another rushing title. PeePaw needs some breaks, he needs the rookies to take over and this may be a tough year for him. Year 2 looks more promising, but for now he may have his tapioca pudding lumps.
11. Batman
Batman is in for some tough times. Ronny Jones is, well, we don’t know what he is. His goal line touches are likely gone, and when does Fournette take over? Miles Sanders has some soft tissue injuries, and he needs WR2s to break out. Dede Westbrook and Anthony Miller, one of those guys will need to break out. Maybe Bryce Love breaks out and is someone that Batman can plug into his lineup. But Batman needs a Robin and right now I don’t know where he is going to find him.
12. Mush’s Mongrels
Mush had a 10/10 idea coming up with mascots. That is the only thing that has gone his way. Sure, he is waiting to put a kicker in his lineup, but he still has the projected lowest score, by a decent margin. How low is it? Come back Wednesday for the Week 1 Matchup Preview. The Mongrels are made up of a lot of guys who aren’t even the #1 on their team. The Mongrels are strictly upside guys. Even his starters like CEH and Hollywood Brown need to have good years. Mush could start two QBs in this league and his projection would still not be great. Tough sledding ahead, Mush needs Week 1 to go his way to get him off of the bottom spot.
That’s the power rankings for Week 1. See you Wednesday for the Week 1 Previews, who will beat who. Week 1 is going to be crucial for a number of reasons. Week 1 needs a league name and we need a sponsor for the league trophy. If you want to be our sponsor hit me up. Football is near and that is all I need in this world. I hope you and yours have a better tomorrow.
Let’s Go!
JonnyDIII
DIII Digest 