[INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Player Spotlight 1st Rounders

Good morning everyone, I hope this finds you well.

What’s the most important thing in real estate? Location, location, location. What’s the most important thing in blogs? Content, content, content (and sponsors, wink wink). Today I shed some light on our first round picks. We are early, but other fantasy drafts will be coming up and you’ll be questions who you should take with your first round pick. To help with your decision I will be looking at our drafts first rounders and playing a game I’ve been player longer than I can remember (about 8 years). I will be saying one bad thing about each pick and then three nice things.

Number 1 overall CrossFit picked Christian McCaffrey, starting running back for the Carolina Panthers.

CMC has been a favorite of mine, I’ve taken him with my first pick in both of my drafts last year. But I can’t be too sweet with CMC, I promised one bad thing. The worst thing about CMC is that the team he plays for absolutely stinks. The Panthers might be the worst team in the NFL this year, they got worse and their conference got better. Let’s be nice, CMC secretly loves a certain bag of chips (no sponsor no credit), I use to eat a whole bag of their spicy nacho flavor and nothing else on Tuesdays in college, so it’s good to see the stars are just like us. Second, CMC is super durable, three seasons and hasn’t missed a game, so you can always count on CMC being in your lineup. Lastly, if you are in any sort of PPR league, CMC was one reception behind Kamara their rookie year, and the last two he’s been the top RB in receiving. He was second last year in total receptions of all players. Seasons of 80, 107, and 116, you are looking at 40-50 points just for catching the ball. With Teddy Two Gloves as the QB, I would expect a lot of check downs to CMC because he’s the guy but also because T2G’s lack of experience, and getting back into the swing of things should lead to quick dump downs. Likes chips, durable, catches, 1, 2, 3.

Number 2 overall Touchdown Guy picked Saquon Barkley, starting running back for the New York Giants.

Saquon is a monster, but his one knack is that his durability is a question. Saquon was injured before his rookie season but was able to be healthy in time for the first game. Last year he missed three, basically four games. In fantasy, you can’t miss games, especially when you are a first round pick. His snaps and touches will be high, so hopefully he can have a healthy season this year. Good thing, Saquon was second in rushing his rookie year, and was a 1,000 yard rusher last season despite the 3 missed games. The Giants do not have much, so he should be pampered as he is the face of the franchise, and pampered in stats, Saquon gets a lot of touches on the ground obviously but is worked in the pass and screen game quite a bit. He’s an obvious top 5 pick in the draft, just too much upside. Lastly, when you commute to work and see some tree trunks you can think of your first round pick. Fitness is his passion, as Saquon has a Quad Squad Challenge out there for you workout fanatics. Absolute monster legs. Peer pressure will have you taking Saquon early, everyone’s doing it. Rushing yards good, face of franchise/touches, and big legs, 1, 2, 3.

Number 3 overall Batman picked Lamar Jackson, starting quarter back for the Baltimore Ravens.

 I think the biggest issue with Lamar Jackson is his playoff history. Lamar has been bad in playoff games, so will that eventually seep into the regular season? We don’t know, luckily fantasy is a regular season game. Lamar is fresh off of an MVP season that resulted in 36 passing touchdowns, 7 on the ground, and 1,200 rushing yards. His numbers are high. Another good thing about Lamar is like CMC he knows what to eat. After winning his Heisman in college his celebratory meal was chicken wings and mozzarella sticks. He wins the Heisman and eats that, Batman watch the Heisman and try to win the 2020 [INSERT LEAGE NAME HERE] Dynasty League Trophy and eat the same thing. (hey sponsor, this could have been your name here but you playing)  Lastly, Lamar is untouchable. While it’s terrifying seeing a QB run down the field, Lamar makes everyone miss and in his third year will continue to learn and continue to go down before contact. Lamar lead QBs in designed runs of over ten yards, he’s not getting those 10 yards by busting heads, he’s just so slippery smooth. High numbers, wings and mozz sticks, silky smooth, 1, 2, 3.

Number 4 overall Bruce picked Ezekiel Elliot, starting running back for the Dallas Cowboys.

Zeke is a really good running back. His biggest concern is that he, like Jerry Jones, always finds himself in the news. Zeke is faded, complains about not being ranked as a top 3 rb, and jumps into a salvation army bucket. There is just a lot of little things that go on with him. Good things, Zeke is on the Cowboys who signed him through 2026 and Jerry’s World is RBs. The Cowboys will feed him, and that’s another good thing. Zeke does the feed me motion every time he has a good run. I think he got it from me. Lastly, the Boys up front are solid. Zeke has had a good line in front of him. This will continue. Jerry loves every offensive position except QB. Contract, lots of touches, feed me is cool, 1, 2, 3.

Number 5 overall JonnyDIII picked Patrick Mahomes, starting quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs.

Patrick is a star. But we have to say something bad about him. The biggest flaw of Mahomes is that he is too rich. Someone with as much money as him and loves ketchup, will likely spend it all and enter a downward spiral. Seriously though, the biggest concern is that the Chiefs have now signed two guys to big pay days. How will they continue to pay players? Will this cause Mahomes to become a good not great fantasy QB? If so, tough to justify the top 5 pick. Good things, he is the only player signed into the 2030s. Second, he threw the ball out of Arrowhead. Lastly, starter, MVP, then Superbowl MVP, the only way up is breaking Drew Brees all-time passing touch down record . . . this season. If there is a guy to do it, it’s Patty cus he’s your daddy. Contract, arms strength is built different, ceiling is higher and higher, 1, 2, 3.

Number 6 overall Bottom Bunk selects Dalvin Cook, backup running back for the Minnesota Vikings (as of post)

Cook playing for the Vikings will not be his one bad thing. The bad thing is that he is holding out. This is not good. First pick and he is going to sit out? This is tough to watch. Good news is there is a lot of time before now and the start of the season, so maybe he will rise to the top for Bottom Bunk. Good things, Cook didn’t have a ton of fun facts on the internet. I do remember that he does Cook and invites teammates over to eat. That’s just good clean family fun. He also is an absolute monster. I have to watch him twice, sometimes three times a year play my favorite NFC team. He is good for one 50+ yard TD run in those games. Lastly, Cook when healthy, plays for a team that is old school. Zimmer runs the ball. Zimmer wants the run, play action, type game. Zimmer is a defensive guy, so he’s about ball control. Cook is a great zing to the defenses zang for Zimmer to run out the clock. Cooks, big play capability, right player for offensive scheme, 1, 2, 3.

Number 7 overall Pistol selects Michael Thomas, starting wide receiver for the New Orleans Saints.

Mikey T is so hot right now. My big thing against Mikey T is that he has a lot of uncertainty down the road. Once Brees hangs it up, what will happen? While Mike is good, because he’s good, that QB position is so important just in offensive production that he may come back down to earth as far as a dynasty player goes. Good things, my god, he had 300 fantasy points, number 2 non-quarterback points overall behind CMC, next WR was 70 points. Dude was a monster. Other good things, his hands. He is an absolute lock for when the ball is going his way, he’s catching it (some of that is Brees, but still hands are sticky). Last good thing about Mikey T, is that he’s related to Keyshawn, so you know he’s always going to be in the QBs ear about getting him the ball, and he’s good enough that he deserves it. Dominated last season, sticky hands, wants the ball, 1, 2, 3.

Number 8 overall Daddy Wombat selects Alvin Kamara, starting running back for the New Orleans Saints.

Kamara is a good pick at 8, the co-owners should be happy. The biggest concern for Kamara is that his productivity has gone down. Fantasy production was down 70 points compared to 2018, sure he missed one more game, but 70 points. Is Murray the problem, is Mikey T the problem? I am not sure, but taking the fourth back and he falls outside of the top 10 in RB points, will cost you. Good things, he like Daddy Wombat does not like mushy (Mush) foods. Big texture guy, that means he likes the finer details. I find it hard to believe a guy that smooth doesn’t like mushy foods, but I trust him. Good news is that he is the only running back to have more receptions than CMC in the league since CMC was in the league. That being their rookie year, but Kamara racks up a decent number of reps at slot. Half PPR, that’s a good thing. Lastly, Kamara is so silky smooth people cannot touch him. His jukes are outrageous. Absolute must watch TV when the ball is in his hands. He’s a streaky guy, and he can go off on a tear and get you a fantasy win when you thought you were out. Defined palate, most likely to compete with CMC for receptions, B-button moves, 1, 2, 3.

Number 9 overall Mush selects Josh Jacobs, starting running back for the Las Vegas Raiders.

I’ll start with the obvious, the Raiders stink. You can stuff the box and Carr is so-so at QB. Also, if they get ahead, you can just score on them. The Raiders aren’t really checking many boxes, so the running game might be slow because of early deficits. Now good things. Mush absolutely robbed the cradle here. I think after CMC, Jacobs is the best running back for a dynasty league. Why? He is very Saquon-esk. Bell cow of the team, monster, big, and just a house. Playing off of how good I think he is, yards per game he was at 88.5, ranking third behind the first and second place rushing leaders. So when Jacobs plays he balls. Finally, the best thing about Jacobs isn’t his overall size, but it’s the size of his heart. Homeless at times growing up, he’s bought his dad a house. That’s good wholesome content. Jacobs deserves the world, and he can have it because he will be the only source of fantasy production for Mush. Bell cow, big numbers as a rookie/last year, great young man, 1, 2, 3.

Number 10 overall Trashman selects Nick Chubb, starting running back for the Cleveland Browns.

We will take out the trash and start out with the one big issue with Nick Chubb, and that’s a full season of Kareem Hunt. Last year, Hunt only had half a season and ended up with one more catch than Nick Chubb, and was third in receptions behind Jarvis and OBJ. Hunt was also the 2017 NFL rushing leader, a feat Chubb is yet to accomplish. Will he dip into more of Chubb’s carries now that he has an understanding of the offense? Good things, 1st-team all-name team. Chubb is fun and easy to say. Some say it’s a good way to describe me. Second good thing, Chubb is going to be a part of an offense that is now like the Vikings. Play action, lots of tight ends, running. Those are all good things for Chubb. Last thing, Chubb is a real quiet driven player. He will not make the news for anything bad, but I am willing to bet that he has a really big chip on his shoulder because people think Hunt is going to take carries from him, and he barely missed last year’s rushing title. I would lock Chubb in for a top 4 AFC rushing/top 8 NFL rushing yards. He will either make the pro bowl or just miss it. Great name, good offense fit, and quiet and motivated, 1, 2, 3.

Number 11 overall PeePaw selects Derrick Henry, starting running back for the Tennessee Titans.

Derrick Henry, there’s not a lot of bad things to say about him, so I will let you know I have a personal vendetta against him. I messaged the Titans on Twitter about trying to donate to Derrick Henry’s favorite charity due to him helping me in two fantasy leagues. After my message the Titans then no longer allowed for me to message them. I am all the way out on that. I was very polite and then I get blocked on messenger? Good things, my god have you seen this dude workout. He is the scariest human being I have ever seen with a football in his hands. I saw a video of him just tossing a big medicine ball around, but he has some faint abs, at his size. That is scary, very scary. Second good thing, my god have you seen this dude run through people. Stiff arms, just lowering his shoulder, his huge legs driving through arm tackles. Introduction to Power Running 101, take a seat while Derrick Henry gives you a lesson. Lastly, my god have you seen this dude’s contract extension. Obviously, this is the least jaw dropping of the things above, but a four year extension for a running back is great in dynasty. If he gets hurt (do not want that to happen to him so I’m knocking on wood, because my god have you seen this dude run?) he still has a team to call home next season. Running backs are a premium in a dynasty league due to short shelf life, but an extra four years is great for PeePaw here. STRONG, runs STRONG, money STRONG, 1, 2, 3.

Number 12 overall Teach selects Tyreek Hill, starting running back for the Kansas City Chiefs.  

This is a tough spot for Teach, and Hill. I am going to mix in one blended bad thing about Hill. My biggest problem with Hill here in the first is that he is Mike Evans. Mike Evans has six years, six 1,000 yard seasons which matches only Randy Moss. Enough about Evans, but his comparison is blended to my one issue here. Hill was 3 in targets and 2 in yards. Kelce had an extra 400 yards and 47 targets. It’s a big jump in production. And with how explosive the Chiefs offense was, where does Hill’s value increase? A guy like Evans has been the standard, is Hill the exception? Cheetah, what a great nickname. Nail on the head. Guy is so, so fast. His speed is perfect for Andy Reid’s offense because he just likes to get the ball out. Quick passes, bombs whatever. And Cheetah can do both, short threat, deep threat, just get him the ball. Lastly, the Chiefs are such a high powered offense, I’d expect everyone to have decent fantasy numbers again. Cheetah will do well, I would expect a lot of wins in his future. Nickname, offense scheme, best offense in football, 1, 2, 3.

That does it for the player preview. Hopefully this gives you some insight on some of the top players in any draft format. With a lot of the action slowing down during this time of the NFL off-season, I am going to put together my top ten, of each position. This will give away answers to my upcoming drafts in the future. At least I will get some clicks from the competition. Our league name and trophy are still up for grabs, if you would like to sponsor it we will mention you in every post and all we ask is for some merch to give to the 13 owners. The next time you will hear from me we will have some sports, and sports, veins.

Let’s Go!

JonnyDIII

[INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Roster Moves and Updates Pre-Season 1st Edition

Good morning everyone, with the Draft having been on June 14, 2020 and the week or so following, some updates have happened within the NFL and within the [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] League.

We will start with the NFL news and how it relates to [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Owners and their rosters, and then look at what the [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Owners have done on their own.

Out of 12 teams, 300 players on a roster, only one man is signed into the next decade. And that man is on the JonnyDIII more for me dream team. Patty Pay Day Mahomes with a half a billion dollar deal that has him in the NFL for 12 years is the stuff I live for. I am hooting and hollering from my parents’ roommates’ basement spare room. A dynasty draft and your dynasty QB inks a long deal, YASSSS! It’s a six point QB tuddy league and everyone else is playing ketchup to my team.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. The biggest move is Cam Newton to the Patriots. This is electric as far as football goes. Business wise I’m not going to ask how teams like the Bears, Chargers, Colts, Jaguars, Raiders, Titans, Washington, could not fine $8 million guaranteed to one up the Patriots deal, I’m not going to cover that. Can Cam be Cam of old? Cam is historically (exception MVP season) a low 20s TD passer. Brady was historically a mid 20s to upper 20s TD passer for the Pats. Receiver wise Panthers had problems, so maybe Cam slides right in to that 25-28 passing TD season and adds 4 on the ground (Murray had 4 last year, Lamar and Watson 7, Allen 9). If Cam’s ankle is good and he quits sailing passes this is a good fit. I will say Trashman has found himself in a pickle. He has two athletic quarterbacks in Wentz and Newton, plus Danny Dimes tucked away for a safe taxi. Will Trashman be stuck trying to play the schedule when Wentz has Washington twice and Cam has the Jets and Dolphins each twice on his schedule? Sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Also, Cam’s run threat should create some bigger creases for Sony Michel, wonder who has him?

We have some demands. Raheem Mostert demanded a trade. To quote Jerry Reed, “When you’re hot, you’re hot, and when you’re not, you’re not.” Having a career total of just over 1,000 yards rushing after four years in the league, demanding a trade from the team that has you as the starter is a kettle bell swing and a miss. CrossFit can cross out Mostert as a starter. Where does he go to start? What team needs a starting running back? Maybe the Chargers or Steelers want extra help, or maybe the Rams and Buccaneers are options to start, maybe. I do not like his odds. What coach is going to want a guy that is mad about being the number one running back on the number one running team, how do you make that guy happy? CrossFit loves a good PR, but this PR might snatch away his playoff hopes.

When it rains it pours. David Njoku demanded a trade. This is a coin flip, Njoku could go to a team in need of a more experienced tight end like the Cowboys or maybe Packers, or maybe the Bears want a Baker’s Dozen of the position. So there is hope for a good team ending up with Njoku, but there is also the chance that teams just pass on him. Njoku may slip into that TE #2 position wherever he goes. Mush’s tight end room is even more questionable as he has Njoku, and his one tight end Chris Herndon was injured the majority of last season and his other tight end is O.J. Howard who will either be behind Gronk in Tampa or will thrive in a two TE system like the Patriots of old. Too many question marks at tight end for Mush.

This does bring us to the first Owner move, Pistol quietly scooped up Harrison Bryant the day before Njoku demanded his trade. We believe Pistol lives in the future and this further proves it. While Bryant still only has a shot to make the field, the Third Round Pick for the Browns should be forced onto the field if Njoku is traded. Long term and maybe short term, Pistol came out firing with this pickup.

There are rumors out there that this is the move of the year. I’ve only heard that from one person. Bottom Bunk dropped his 19th round pick Keke Coutee (Royce Freeman is still on B.B.’s roster) and scooped up Josh Gordon. With a move like this I reached out to Bottom Bunk and asked “Who is your man on the inside that tipped you off on the Josh Gordon pick up?” B.B. responded that there was no tip, and it’s just him “being an aggressive owner and seeing talent for my team.” He went on to say “I know Gordon’s been through a lot but everyone deserves 2nd chances. . . or 3rd . . . or 4th.” Bottom Bunk likes Gordon ending up in Carolina, which may help distract Carolina fans from the tweets Teddy Two Tweets has been firing off at fans he’s yet to play in front of. Bottom Bunk did leave me with a cliff hanger, that he may have another secret, the secret of a great gyro recipe.

Guys who are not playing seemed to be a theme. But a guy who did have issues and scored a touchdown on one of three catches was drafted in the 24th round by PeePaw. PeePaw took AB, and now AB has buzz. Ultimately when you make a pick like AB, that’s all you can hope for is some buzz and then hope that the buzz grows and leads to a workout.

TRADE ALERT. It’s rumored that Batman has added Harrison Butker to the untouchable list, and will not trade him.

TRADE ALERT. Bottom Bunk offered to JonnyDIII D. Johnson and P. Lindsey for J. Conner (as it reads on the app). JonnyDIII rejected the offer saying that he did not want two backups. JonnyDIII mistakenly assumed D. Johnson was Duke Johnson of the Texans, and not in fact David Johnson of the same team. This was a fair trade offered by B.B. and while JonnyDIII would have still rejected the offer, he did note that he “back[s] Bottom Bunk as a trustworthy owner for trades.”

News just to include everyone. Social media has a video of Calvin Ridley absolutely cutting some guy up on routes, inject that right into Touchdown Guy’s veins. Dare I say Touchdown Guy’s team is, built different? Bruce made it clear he is wheelin’ and dealin’ and that his saying Mahomes and then taking Zeke in the draft was a setup, add Bruce to people you have to sleep around with one eye open. Haven’t heard anything from Daddy Wombat or their team, just like when they are on the clock. Teach only has one starting QB on his team, who’s 38, and that team traded up in the first round of the NFL draft to get a QB, but he’s on vacation so I am just quietly mentioning this at the end to not ruin his vibe.

That should do it for now. Updates will likely be farther in-between as some big moves have been made already and I’m not sure how many more will happen between now and the start of the season. I love you and yours and hope you all reach out to potential sponsors for me (13 merch items, one for each owner should get you featured for a year, but let’s talk).

Let’s Go!

JonnyDIII

The 2020 [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Draft Grades

Good morning, and thank you for coming to my event. A group of college friends got together and decided to do a Dynasty Fantasy Football League that will last longer than their friendships. All names shall remain anonymous, but likely those few, few people who read this will be able to figure out who is who after looking at retweets, comments, likes (please retweet I love attention).

This is an unbiased draft grade for a 12 team Dynasty Fantasy Football League, that’s name is currently like the horse in the 1970s rock band America’s most famous hit.

A quick breakdown of the league format: 12 teams, snake draft, 25 man roster for year 1, which breaks down as follows: 11 starters (QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, TE, RB/WR, WR/TE, RB/WR/TE, K (no defense)), 9 bench, 5 taxi (5 players that are rookies, 2nd year, or third year (for year one only)). Year 2 is a rookie and free agent draft, teams expand to 30, which adds 5 more bench players, taxi is now reduced to only rookies and second year players. Draft is done like the NFL draft, worst team first champion last (with exception of compensatory picks which is a cliff hanger for you to read the Playoff Preview near the end of the season). Traditional ½ PPR scoring with a few additions, those are: 0.1 point per completion, 1 point for 20 yards passing, 6 points passing TD. The scoring is maybe a touch QB focused, and I’m not saying that to justify anyone’s pick. Also, players are your team for as long as you keep them, only cutting a player will remove them from your roster, I know what it feels like to be cut, not great but sometimes necessary.

The picks this year were done at random by an internet video conference call (not sponsored so no credit) by Mush (Commissioner is Mush) supported by myself, JonnyDIII, I’m JonnyDIII, and Pistol. A random wheel generator was used and the picks in order were as follows:

  1. CrossFit
  2. Touchdown Guy
  3. Batman
  4. Bruce
  5. JonnyDIII
  6. Bottom Bunk
  7. Pistol
  8. Daddy Wombat (co-owners)
  9. Mush
  10. Trashman
  11. PeePaw
  12. Teach

Now that you know the names and the rules, here is the draft in its entirety.

CrossFit

With the first pick of the 2020 [INSERT LEAGUE NAME HERE] Draft, CrossFit used proper form in selecting Dairy Sanders, CMC, the Carolina Panthers for the 2020 season. Great first pick, but does it get better? You would think a guy who does a lot of dynasty drafts in a popular basketball video game (no sponsor no credit), you would know to draft younger guys and not Brady, Eifert, Thomas, AP, and Burkhead. Clearing the cap isn’t a thing here, the free agent pool is not as strong in fantasy. These picks filled out his team, so it’s not terrible, but most would use backups for young talent that may turn into something rather than someone who will be or already has turned in their pads for the last time. Maybe, just maybe, Mush had to edit the rules to allow third year players on the Taxi for some owners. Not saying names. CrossFit is hoping his team will workout so he can post about it on insta later.

Grade: B

Touchdown Guy

With the second pick, Quads, safe reliable Saquon Barkley. Another can’t miss pick. If it never works out, it’s what every big board said to do. Touchdown Guy scored in the 6th when Calvin Ridley finally came off the board. He was a guy that people were just letting drop for no reason. Grabbing a guy two rounds later than projection is always good. Just like in golf you can screw up a time or two, but you hate to do it on 18. Touchdown Guy grabs Taysom Hill as his backup QB? Athlete? Who knows, who cares, the 18th round did not have much to show on this draft board. Grabbing K.J. Hill for his taxi could pay off down the road, as he is the all-time receptions leader for Ohio State, that must mean something. It’ll be interesting to see if Touchdown Guy can go for 6 and (qb) sneak into the playoffs.

Grade: B

Batman

When you are successful, good looking, and incredibly wealthy, you deserve the best. And with the third pick Batman did just that by grabbing the reigning MVP, current video game cover athlete (not sponsored), first QB off the board, Lamar Jackson. Batman is hoping that night in and night out Lamar can fight off the competition and stay on track for the MVP conversation. In the 14th round Batman reached to his utility belt and realized he needed a kicker, taking Harrison Butker 32 picks before the next kicker taken. But Batman rose from the darkness to draft Bryce Love in the 18th round as the perfect future sidekick. Then the 20th round became a riddle as he drafts known free agent Davonta Freeman who’s colder than Mr. Freeze.

Grade: B

Bruce

Pre-draft, Bruce wanted Mahomes, who was available on draft night, but then decides on Ezekiel Elliot. This caused other owners to take notice and no longer trust Bruce because he knew that Zeke was going at five and took him instead of being a man of his word, or so I’m told. Bruce loved picking players who are on bad teams. Rounds 4 through 7 Bruce doubled down on Bengals and Jaguars players. It will be interesting to see if Bruce does as poorly as the teams his players play for. For what his team lacks, his receiving core at least provides balance, a healthy dose of veterans who will get thrown at should at least send Bruce upstream. Other teams in this league smell blood in the water, and have their matchup with Bruce as a win, or so I’m told.

Grade: B –

JonnyDIII

Chef’s Kiss. Unbiased opinion JonnyDIII’s entire draft, mwah. In a QB favored league, the best QB is available in an offense that loves to chuck the pigskin. An absolute steal, Patrick Mahomes at 5. Dipping his net into the vast ocean of second year guys while others pay a premium for rookies or vets, just crafty, and may I say sexy picks left and right. First owner to go without a kicker to see who is where on depth charts, just big brain moves only. Two other owners copy this strategy (even if one had it planned already). Other steals include but not limited to: the whole team. Only pick that was controversial would be N’Keal Harry where he was taken, maybe a touch early, but could be the Pats new #1 for years to come.

Grade: A – (no one’s perfect, except you babe)

Bottom Bunk

This could be the biggest first round/first year flop, Dalvin Cook is expected to holdout. Vikings have a very capable backup, the holdout could last, who knows. Using a 5th round pick on a veteran wide receiver with injury history and an old QB that was run out of the place he made a name for himself, is an interesting choice. Following that up with a 6th round pick on a guy that is also injury prone and old for the running back position is also interesting. Maybe, Bottom Bunk has a magic 8 ball that is telling him something about Royce Freeman that none of us know about. Either way, B.B.’s starting lineup will be interesting this year, and years following as his team ages out early. The good news is that Bottom Bunk has locked himself in to a good draft pick for 2021.

Grade: C+

Pistol

Cool, calm, and collected, Pistol took the safety off and pulled the trigger on Michael Thomas the top WR in most big boards. The guy gets it done. Following that up with an aging tight end, shows that Pistol is looking to draw up some wins now. Kyler Murray in the 6th is a solid pick for years to come. Guys like OBJ and Gronk could put Pistol in the shotgun seat of this year’s championship or could fire blanks. A misfire might be Allen Lazard in in the 11th with a lot of bigger name receivers going in the 12th, Pistol still has his sights on the postseason. This is a team to watch and could have major upside this year with a steady hand of picks but still capable to fire from the hip to give you all the thrill you need for a team to watch.

Grade: B+

Daddy Wombat

The war room for these two co-owners will likely result in a documentary, and at times the picks took as long as a documentary. Safe picks to start through round 12 or 13 then the wheels start to fall off. With an absolute lock with Russell Wilson, Daddy Wombat follows with Drew Brees in round 14, when other capable younger QBs are still on the board, and vets like Big Ben go undrafted. A mix of blind dart board tosses filling up the Taxi could pan out, but maybe at too high of a cost. Four tight ends, two being rookies and one Greg Olsen will likely create issues this year and maybe years to come at the position. Maybe they hit it big with their rookie core, but it’s a Year 3-4 hope there. I like this as a mediocre team this year, maybe sneaking into the dance.

Grade: B –

Mush

Now, Mush set this up, Mush is in another Dynasty League. There are 13 owners, 12 of those owners asked themselves, “What is this guy doing?” That means one of two things, pure genius or clueless. Mush has zero Dynasty fantasy playoff wins, but did say this draft was different than his previous. Josh Jacobs great pick, the rest will require a lot of time and a lot of hope. Imagine if half his team doesn’t pan out. Dante Pettis in the 25th is a steal. Going two for twenty-five reminds us of a mock draft that came out earlier this year. It’s July, so it’s tough to say where the teams will finish at the end of the season, but it’s safe to say that Mush is on the clock. Maybe Mush turned to mush having overthought this whole entire thing and having to deal with all our questions. 

Draft Grade: Pass (I don’t want to be rude and have my trades denied)

Trashman

Doubling down on tight ends by Round 7 and three running backs shows Trashman is a huge Smash Mouth fan. Hoping his lineup is filled with All-Stars, he is ready to compete now and likely for years to come. I don’t know about you, but I’m a Believer with the quality group of young RBs on his team he won’t need to recycle picks on the position for a couple years. His wide receiver core is not flashy, but as long as they don’t take a dump, his heaping pile of fresh RBs should have Trashman Walkin’ on the Sun. If not, Then the Morning Comes on Tuesday and Trashman will have to take a deep look at his team and see if it still brings him joy.

Draft Grade: A –

PeePaw

PeePaw, took last year’s leading rusher, someone that locals (local to us) claim to be a top wide receiver, some young WRs that look to be the #2 or #3 for their team, and the actual starter (as of this post) for the Vikings at RB, all by the 9th Round. PeePaw is hoping that his friend father time is good to his crop of rookie wide outs. The QB and TE play is questionable, everyone has to prove themselves, but the rest of the team is a nice balance of reliability and hopeful youth. Wildcard, AB in the 24th is a whatever pick, if he’s not signed and has a return date when the season begins or shortly thereafter, then you just pick up a free agent. I listen to a Browns talk podcast and they love them some Baker. Baker has to be good right? For PeePaw let’s hope Baker blossoms into a wily old vet.

Grade: B +

Teach

When I was a child one of my favorite toys was a Stretch Armstrong figure, he broke because I stretched his arm too far. Stretch Armstrong is Teach, the reach that will break him is Aaron Rodgers in the 7th. Maybe Teach is hoping in 3 years Rodgers is tearing it up for the Bears like Favre did for the Vikings, but no homer wishes that. Filled with Packers and a former Packer, Teach wants you to look at the feel good picks he made to make up for the picks of not so likable people he chose. No further comment is needed. I do love love his 19th round pick of Antonio Gandy-Golden, he should see the field soon, but the issue is Washington’s WR core is young already, so he’s not looking to replace someone, he has to beat them out.  Teach sets the curve, just the wrong end of it.

Grade: C+

If you notice, no failing grades, a perfect bell curve. I learned that in school. If you are still reading this, thanks for having me. I love you and yours and hope nothing but a better tomorrow for all. Coming up next will be a recap of roster moves that have happened since the draft and sleeper picks that worked out due to signings or trades or trade demands since the draft. When the football begins, weekly results will follow. A quick weekly preview and spotlight on the (looking for a sponsor to insert name here) game of the week, followed with a recap of each week. I am open to trades and sponsors.

Let’s Go!

JonnyDIII

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